And somehow through music...

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...I was shown the courage that sometimes we, as adults, have lost.

Yesterday something very special happened.

I was rehearsing all day with the kids in one of my schools for a concert. 

I usually prepare them for the concert during their 1:1 lessons, and we also have some group lessons for duets and trios performing together. 

The set list was awesome, and very varied. They performed songs such as: ‘The Scientist’ by Coldplay, ‘The Schuyler Sisters’ from Hamilton, ‘I’m Not the Only One’ by Sam Smith, ‘Zombie’ by The Cranberries, ‘Valentine’ by Laufey, and so on. But I noticed that two new singers had been added last minute, and I started to worry as I hadn’t taught them in my classes and I didn’t actually know them.

One of them had to perform 'This is me’ from The Greatest Showman. This is a hard song also for pros! Keala Settle's performance of this song is stellar, magical. The song has a big vocal range, and it requires emotional delivery, dynamic control, stamina, solid breathing technique and placement, etc.

Before the concert, I managed to take some time off from rehearsals just to coach her. 

We warmed up and then started singing the song. We focused line by line: I started giving her tips and made her do some exercises to find the right placement, we worked on airflow, vowels, articulation and she was so good at taking directions! I was impressed. Some parts were brilliant, some other parts (of course) needed more work, but after just one lesson she was applying all the directions!

Until I asked her why that song was so important to her, what made her pick it over others, how she could connect to it, and what that song meant to her.

She told me she loved ‘This is me’ and that it’s a song that she usually finds herself singing, so she wanted to perform it at the concert. I was so happy to hear this, as she was the one who picked the song. Then she added that the song also meant a lot to her. I asked her why, but I actually wasn’t ready to hear what she told me.

She said that she really resonated with the song, and that until she was six she was speaking with sign language as one of her vocal folds hadn’t developed enough. She added that thanks to speech therapy she started speaking and now, well…she was singing. I took it all in.

All of a sudden, in front of me, there was a true little miracle. 

I couldn't believe my ears. And now I can't believe I managed to hold back my tears.

We then started singing it again. She told me that after the lesson she felt better, more confident.

But this is not all. When she was performing the song in front of the audience during the concert, something else happened.

I could feel she was emotional (bear in mind that singing in front of an audience is not easy, especially for kids, plus, that was her first time singing a solo all by herself! She only sang in a choir before!). Only twice over the whole song a note didn't come out as planned. She stopped for a second, but she kept going. She didn't give up. She didn't forfeit the song. She kept going. Two little notes were not worth giving up the whole performance! She was there, present, in the moment. Living. Breathing. Feeling. Fighting to tell the audience, with her own voice, the words: 'THIS IS ME'.

I could see and feel the audience getting emotional, some of them were in tears, in awe of this little girl, full of courage! And some of them didn't even know her full story. The raw authenticity of that little kid was coming through.

I started crying too. My heart was exploding. I couldn't believe what I was witnessing.

And somehow, again, thanks to music, a little part of me has healed. 

A little girl had just given me a big lesson on courage, on not giving up if it's something you are willing to fight for. To keep going, until the very last moment. Until the very last note. Until the very last breath.

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.” (Mark Twain)

Sometimes as adults we are overly critical of ourselves, the voices in our head (or 'the vile b*tch upstairs' as Andrea, one of my teachers, would say) are too loud.

We stop ourselves from achieving greatness, we give up too early. We believe what we were told by others, by bullies, by negative people, by mean people, empty people, often people close to us and we stop. We let their words define us. We believe their lies. And we simply stop.

Instead what we need to repeat in our heads is just:

"Look out 'cause here I come, and I'm marching on to the beat I drum, I'm not scared to be seen, I make no apologies, this is me!

Thanks for reading, I hope my words helped. I will use this blog to share my experiences (life/work) and insights with you. Hope to talk to you in the comments or on social media, feel free to ask me questions below.

Sending love,

Chiara x